Jokes of the day
ASCII silly question, get a silly ANSI.
Why is 6 afraid of 7 in hexadecimal Canada?
Because 7 8 9 A?
Algorithm: A word used by programmers when they don't want to explain how their code works.
I was struggling to figure out how lightning works, but then it struck me.
why do python programmers wear glasses?
Because they can't C.
My employer came running to me and said, "I was looking for you all day! Where the hell have you been?"
I replied, "Good employees are hard to find."
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
My wife and I have reached the difficult decision that we do not want children. If anybody does, please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
A byte walks into a bar looking miserable. The bartender asks it: "What's wrong buddy?" "Parity error." it replies. "Ah that makes sense, I thought you looked a bit off."
So what's a set of predefined steps the government might take to preserve the environment?
An Al-Gore-ithm.
Two guys walked into a bar.
The third guy ducked.
"Honey, go to the store and buy some eggs." "OK." "Oh and while you're there, get some milk." He never returned.
What does a turkey dress up as for Halloween?
A gobblin'!
Hey Girl, Roses are #ff0000, Violets are #0000ff, I use hex codes, But I'd use RGB for you.
"We messed up the keming again guys."
A Roman walks into a bar and raises 2 fingers and says to the bartender...
"Five beers, please."
Family-friendly jokes from JokeAPI (jokeapi.dev).
Thought of the day
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.”— Nelson Mandela
“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”— Bette Midler
“Great acts are made up of small deeds.”— Lao Tzu
“The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.”— Vince Lombardi
“Your life does not get better by chance, it gets better by change.”— Jim Rohn
“To live outside the law, you must be honest.”— Bob Dylan
“Just get out and do it. You will be very, very glad that you did.”— Christopher McCandless
“Most of the evil in this world is done by people with good intentions.”— T.S. Eliot
“Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.”— Henry Ford
“If you want to turn a vision into reality, you have to give 100% and never stop believing in your dream.”— Arnold Schwarzenegger
“It is your attitude, not your aptitude, that determines your altitude.”— Zig Ziglar
“A man who acquires the ability to take full possession of his own mind may take possession of anything else to which he is justly entitled.”— Andrew Carnegie
Inspirational quotes provided by ZenQuotes API.
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.
Van Gogh only sold one painting when he was alive.
Beetles taste like apples, wasps like pine nuts, and worms like fried bacon.
The placement of a donkey`s eyes in its` heads enables it to see all four feet at all times!
The KGB is headquartered at No. 2 Felix Dzerzhinsky Square, Moscow
US gold coins used to say “In Gold We Trust”.
Pinocchio is Italian for "pine head."
Facts from the Useless Facts API (uselessfacts.jsph.pl).
On this day — 3 October
2003 — Roy Horn of the American entertainment duo Siegfried & Roy (both pictured) was mauled by a tiger during a performance at the Mirage on the Las Vegas Strip.Wikipedia: Siegfried & Roy
1992 — Sinéad O'Connor tore up a photograph of Pope John Paul II on live television.Wikipedia: Sinéad O'Connor
1991 — Nadine Gordimer became the first South African to win the Nobel Prize in Literature.Wikipedia: Nadine Gordimer
1981 — A hunger strike by Irish republican prisoners at HM Prison Maze outside Belfast, Northern Ireland, ended after seven months and ten deaths.Wikipedia: 1981 Irish hunger strike
1963 — Oswaldo López Arellano replaced Honduran president Ramón Villeda Morales in a violent coup, initiating two decades of military rule.Wikipedia: Oswaldo López Arellano
1962 — Mercury-Atlas 8, the fifth United States crewed space mission, was launched from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida, carrying astronaut Wally Schirra (pictured).Wikipedia: Mercury-Atlas 8
1953 — Vancouver's Holy Rosary Cathedral was dedicated by Archbishop William Mark Duke, fifty-three years after it first opened.Wikipedia: Holy Rosary Cathedral (Vancouver)
1952 — The United Kingdom successfully conducted its first nuclear test, becoming the world's third state with nuclear weapons.Wikipedia: Operation Hurricane
1951 — In Major League Baseball, the New York Giants' Bobby Thomson hit the "Shot Heard 'Round the World", a game-winning home run, to win the National League pennant.Wikipedia: Major League BaseballFrom Wikipedia’s “On this day”, available under CC BY-SA 4.0.
